Equipartition — the series
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Half a kT for every way of moving
A heat capacity ought to be a count. Every quadratic term in a system's energy carries half a kT of it, so warming a gas is a matter of enumerating the ways its molecules can move — and the fact that the count comes out wrong for hydrogen is how a thermometer measured Planck's constant.
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The share that is not half a kT
Equipartition is quoted as half a kT for every degree of freedom, and it is nothing of the kind. It is half a kT for every *quadratic* term. A coordinate whose energy is linear in it carries a whole kT, and a gas hot enough that its particles' energy is pc rather than p²/2m therefore holds twice what the counting says — which drops its ratio of specific heats to four thirds and puts a star on the edge of being able to hold itself up.
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The temperature a molecule does not have
Temperature fixes a system's average energy and nothing more. The actual energy wanders, by an amount tied to the heat capacity, and the relative size of the wandering falls as one over the square root of the number of degrees of freedom — so a mole has a temperature and a molecule does not.
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The energy that refuses to be shared
Put all the energy of a chain of masses into its longest mode and add a few per cent of nonlinearity, and equipartition says it should spread out among all thirty-two modes and stay there. It does not. It leaks into three or four neighbours and then comes back — almost exactly — and goes on doing so, and the calculation that found this was expected to be a demonstration that it would not happen.
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The condition three modes never meet
Whether two modes of a chain can hand energy to a third is arithmetic on the dispersion relation, and for a chain of masses the answer is never: a sine is concave, so the sum of two frequencies always exceeds the frequency of their sum. The smallest shortfall anywhere on a chain of N masses is π³/4(N+1)³ — never zero, and never far from it — and a shortfall turns a transfer into a beat.
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Half a kT in a piece of wire
Count the quadratic terms in a molecule's energy and equipartition gives a heat capacity. Count them on a transmission line instead and the same theorem gives a resistor's noise voltage — 4kTRΔf, with nothing in it about what the resistor is made of. A fifty-ohm input at room temperature says 0.91 nanovolts in every root hertz, and no design removes it.
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Weighing what cannot be put on a scale
Summed over every coordinate of a bound system, equipartition stops being a statement about temperature and becomes a relation between two averages: twice the kinetic energy equals n times the potential energy for a potential going as the nth power. For gravity that fixes a bound system's total energy from how fast its parts move — so a Doppler shift and an angular size return a mass, and for the Coma cluster the mass they return is fifty times the mass that shines.